I’m really competitive about everything, no matter what, I will not enter anything I do not think I can win. A girl I know and occasionally hang out with said she too has bulimia, and although i’m doubtful of this, for a variety of reasons, hearing about her has triggered me severely. She’s much heavier than I am, but she is also taller, and every time she makes a show of going to public restrooms to purge, I feel worse about myself and start to hate myself even more for not purging as frequently as I used to, and I go home after seeing her to work out for several hours at a time and purge anything i eat. She is causing me a lot of harm, but I can’t stop myself from competing with her and with everyone else who might be in the same situation I am. This is one of the main reasons I cannot talk to other girls with EDs and it really sucks that i have no form of support other than my psychiatrist, because my family isn’t the type to discuss these things.